User blog:Chaosraven/Black Tears of Anguish/ Chaos' Memoirs
So It seems like your time has run out? alas when you get attacked, your time always depletes faster... I sit here upon the rotting chair, writing these notes ,upon clean paper on a rotting desk in hopes anyone will read them and understand their full meaning.....I just hope this pen has enough ink for the job. Where to Begin.... The wikia herself was once kind to me.....just a caring mother my job was to protect her in her hardships and its a job i did well, i protected the community. A community free from harassment and bullying was the goal, it was kept until certain events kicked off those....i'll explain more later... When i joined back in 2012 the wiki was still under construction and i did my part to help assist in item page construction and just pointing things out. When me and another user got into doing large chats in comments on a user blog the admin at the time enabled the chat field and we randomly RP'ed on there with little to no restrictions, the admin kept questioning us in how the hell we could keep going but in the end he was fine with it as long as things were peaceful and they were until some time later..... End of 2012 i got to know some people get along with people....I met two individuals then....Xseiko...and Kittysakurai...both were shy and while I have never liked new users due to social issues thus didn't take kindly to new people then as a chat mod.....I bit the bullet....I spoke to them and slowly over time got to know them.... Then out of nowhere.....end of 2013, the admin came forward to me...he told me he's leaving the wiki and stepping down.....I ask him why....fanbase was his responce....alongside direction of the series....he gave me his position and demoted himself. To this day I asked myself if he were still admin would things be different...they would be but in the end he got out before things got bad......and I don't envy him one bit for that.. Life as an admin huh? I initally thought I wouldn't be up to the task but that notion quickly ended as things started to take a turn for the worse....the idiots invaded in flocks....naturally any of them stood out of line i removed them, keeping to the original promise of the wiki, many respected me for my tough but fair approach however many also doubted me for it... Mid 2014 Kittysakurai....this point a kind and loyal friend asked me if she could become admin to help ease the burden and stress being an admin puts upon people, I was moved by her kindness and thus promoted her and for a time she was kind and caring... But time changes us all... As time went on my tolerance for idiocy and stupidity began to drop and plumment, something many would come to resent me for....and towards the end of 2014...The caustic one appeared... It was 2015 when the caustic one fianlly left..but the wiki as a whole was left abused, her life hanging on by life support at best....many began to question me while others looked for a scapegoat..... They found it in me.... So we come to now.... I came to the wiki to socialise and in time protect her and the community from the horrors of the net....in turn a power divide and split of opinion occured and ripped the foundations apart....apart to the very core.... in the end everyone changes, in the end many would see the end result as simply corrupt admin...well truth be told, any and all power corrupts eventually... I harbour no malice or hatred to anyone for there decisions, in the end i hope they can realise the truth in the events that have occured....and hopefully they can see the errors of their ways.. The wikia still bleeds.....shes on her last drops of life....if something is not done soon to stop this......she will die.... Those who wish to remain in touch with me i ask you seek me out via skype and ask prime admin Okaminarutofan999 if you wish to contact me.....she can be trusted and has been good to me over the years...She was promoted to chat mod on the 10th of march and she is now my successor as prime admin on the wikia. I met many good people on here, many of them have left out of dislike for the fanbase, or changes in the system, i hope those few who i was able to talk to and get to know will do their best to remain in contact as at the end of the day, lonliness and isolation are the double death killer.... Now Then.... As i conclude these memoirs the black tar drips from my eyes.... I am upset at how things turned out and angry at myself to the point of absolute self destruction..... but i am human at the end of the day....to be human is to be flawed..... The darkness sings to me like a lullaby of a young girl....a siren's call..... But i cannot break its trance...... I must hold on for those who care....... I have to hold on M....U.....S.....T H....O.....L....D O....N ..... ... . Category:Blog posts